Storytime with Shanthi kiddos. Got another one for you.
Question: How do I get my dog to stop barking at (insert thing here like cars, people, dogs)? I scold them for it and tell them to ignore it but they won’t stop.
Are you afraid of anything? Me, I’m afraid of bees and wasps. First, those suckers are fast, evasive and overall unpredictable. Second, they carry weapons. Like little gangsters with a thinnly veiled violent streak they carry poison dipped daggers…in their ass!!!!
I mean, who thought that up? THIRD…I am allergic to that poison.
So, imagine me hanging out inside my supposedly bee-free house with a friend during demon insect season and one of those wicked hearted fiends sneaks in the room. Inside. In-friggin-side with ME!! I’m scared just thinking about it.
Now, ask me to ignore it and answer your questions about a topic I don’t know much about. Did you catch the part where I’m supposed to NOT look at the killer in the room? What’s that you say? It’s NOT a killer? Well YOU don’t really know that do you? I DO!!! What if my allergy has moved into anaphylactic shock territory? What if that monstrosity attacks me? What if it gets close and I flail out of fear and CAUSE it to stab me with the “stabby killing juice”???????????? G’aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. My heart is pounding just telling you about how afraid I am of it! And you’re still waiting for me to focus on you and answer your questions about sourdough starters? Who gives a flying dough ball about your bread right now…there’s a WASP in the building!!
Breath, Shanthi…breathe…you’re trying to make a point. There’s not an actual wasp.
Point…..what’s my point? Oh yeah….your dog barks at new people or moving cars, bicycles, other dogs etc and you want it to stop.
First, WHY is your dog barking? Are they afraid? Oohhh, maybe afraid like I’m afraid of the killer insect?
Well, listen, if you had let me keep track of and keep myself at a safe distance from that killer bug while talking about bread I may have been able to listen to your rantings about your stinky cheese smelling starter in a jar. But no, you kept mocking me and getting mad that I was literally shaking.
Sorry, I digress.
Let me switch that up to a more successful scenario and see what you guys think.
You know I’m afraid of bees. You want to talk to me about bread. You see me starting to become fearfully focused on the bee in the room.
You suggest we leave OR you remove the bee (you’re not afraid so you scoop it up and take it outside becoming the world’s best superhero in my eyes). After the bee is gone, you make sure I’m ok and relaxed and ready to talk about bread.
I learn to love sourdough and invest my savings into your bread company because you were so kind and saved me from imminent death and you go on to make millions of people happy and zillions of dollars selling the world’s best bee free bread!
Ok, that last bit was a stretch but the first bit is my point.
Why do we ask dogs to NOT be afraid? Why do we feel it’s ok to punish fear instead? If you know your dog is overly reactive to something, why would you continuously put them in the situation unprepared? Why wouldn’t you start by having a bunch of highly rewarded/reinforced bheaviors you can ask for while the scary thing can be seen a mile away? Why don’t we have a “get out of dodge” emergency uturn when we’re stuck face to face with something uncontrollable or scary?
I know, there are many people out there who think their dog should just do something because we want them to. But my dogs aren’t robots. My dogs show me time and time again they have feelings. Fear just happens to be one of the many emotions I’ve observed in dogs. If I want a dog to behave perfectly, I have to train them in ALL environments as well as help them overcome any apprehensions they may have about what is in that environment.
Be your dog’s advocate.
Help them succeed.
It can happen. With teamwork and reliable protocols, your dog can learn to remain calm and focused around scary things.
If you struggle with a scared/reactive/barky lungy dog and want help, we are here for you.